BETTER THAN ME
by Ravenstalon
Summary: One mistake can change everything... for everybody...


Tyler stood at the window watching the rain fall. He didn't really see any of the scenery. He had lost focus hours ago. He just stood there, the sound of the rain, and the sight of everything drenched in water all blended together. The bottle in his hand, empty now, dropped from numb fingers and clattered amongst the other empty bottles collecting on the floor at his feet. His whole body was numb, but whether it was from the amount of alcohol he had consumed or from the pain that had completely enveloped him, was debatable. Not that he cared. At this moment Tyler didn't even know his own name. But even though he had managed to forget everything else, the one thing he wanted to forget, that he desperately NEEDED to forget, wouldn't leave him alone.

For a brief moment his eyes focused on his reflection in the window and his breath caught in his throat. He was standing there in black jeans and a blood red T-shirt. _Blood red... his blood... blood everywhere... everything was red...he couldn't stop the bleeding..._

The official story was that it had been an animal attack, but unlike the past cover-ups this time it had really been an animal. _Animal... wolf... ANIMAL!_ Tyler focused briefly on his reflection again and this time intensely golden eyes stared back at him. _Animal...!_ A low growl emanated from his throat and before he could stop himself his fist went through the window pane. The growl turned into a sob, but not from the pain in his now bleeding hand – this new pain he didn't even feel. There was another pain, festering deep inside him, poisoning him from the inside out. As hard as he tried to get back to the place where everything blended together and made him numb, memories came flooding back, each one slamming into him until he was literally on his knees, fighting for each breath.

_He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. All he saw was dark brown hair. He buried his face in it and took another deep breath. He would never be able to get enough of Jeremy's scent. Jeremy snuggled deeper into the blankets, smiling as Tyler tightened his arms around him."Just another five minutes." Jeremy mumbled, planting a kiss on Tyler's arm and laying his head back down on it._

"_Yeah, ok." Tyler laughed, "But just five minutes this time... or we'll be late for school." He pulled Jeremy closer and leant his head on Jeremy's, planting a kiss in the crook of his shoulder._

_They had been late for school, both getting detention for walking in half way through their respective first periods. Tyler had walked Jeremy to his class and slapped him on the ass as the younger boy opened his classroom door. By the time Jeremy had turned around, Tyler was halfway down the passage, laughing as he went._

_At lunch time Tyler was with Matt leaning against his car. Jeremy came out of one of the schools side doors, earphones in and listening to music. Seeing Tyler he smiled and fished his pink slip out of his back pocket, holding it up for Tyler to see. Tyler just laughed, fishing his own pink slip from his backpack and holding it up. Jeremy just shrugged his shoulders in that naughty way he had. Matt looked at the two of them and just rolled his eyes. Tyler and Jeremy were sort of the worst kept secret in Mystic Falls. Everyone knew the two of them were together but nobody dared say anything - especially not since Tyler was STILL a Triple Letter athlete and could beat the crap out of anyone. Especially anyone who said anything bad about Jeremy._

_They had spent their detention in the art class – the only teacher still willing to put up with the two of them – they were in detention a lot. They always sat next to each other in the back of the class, both their sketchbooks out, drawing furiously._

Tyler couldn't breathe. _Please NO! Don't go there._ He told himself but it didn't help. His brain dragged him screaming to relive the next memory.

_He woke up and knew immediately that something was wrong – he could taste blood – and a lot of it. He tried moving but his body wouldn't respond – he was sore all over. He hated shifting – he'd never get used to it. He took a deep breath and froze. That scent! What was Jeremy doing here? Tyler turned and reached up to rub his eyes. He slowly pulled his hand back staring at it in the dark. He was covered in blood._

"_JEREMY!" Tyler called, panic welling up. _What was Jeremy doing here?_ He thought. He was supposed to be waiting at the house._

"_Tyler?" Caroline's voice came from nearby. His head whipped around in that direction, easily seeing her in the pitch dark. Her voice sounded funny. She was crouched in front of him, almost as if she meant to attack him. Her face was in vamp-mode, the veins under her blood red eyes standing out. There was something on the ground behind her. As Tyler moved towards her she shifted, always keeping herself between him and whatever was on the ground behind her. The wind shifted and the object's scent hit Tyler like a wall: Jeremy... and blood!_

"_NO!" Tyler screamed in rage, charging at Caroline. But he never made it to her. In a flash Stefan and Damon were there, taking both of them to pin Tyler to the tree a few meters away. "JEREMY!" Tyler kept on screaming. The blood covered body behind Caroline didn't move. Tyler screamed louder and fought harder to get free. "What did you do, you BITCH!" he screamed at Caroline. "I'm going to kill you!"_

_Caroline shook her head and started crying. "I didn't do this, Tyler." She whispered. Taking a few steps closer to Tyler but retracing her steps when Tyler literally growled and snapped at her, his eyes glowing golden in the dark. "Tyler..." she looked at him, tears streaming down her face freely now. "You did this, Ty. YOU attacked Jeremy." The two Salvatore brothers almost let go of Tyler in their shock at Caroline's statement and Tyler went completely still._

_Tyler wanted to tell her she was lying... that she had done it and was trying to pin it on him. But a rational part of his mind pointed out the evidence. She wasn't covered in blood – at least the important parts of her weren't – her mouth and face were clean. Tyler was covered in blood and he had blood in his mouth. He knew instinctively it was Jeremy's – he could taste Jeremy in the blood. Excruciating pain ripped through his chest and it took him a while to realise what it was: his heart had broken. There was this noise suddenly in his ears and he realised he was hearing himself screaming._

_With adrenaline pumping through his body, he shoved the two vampires off and ran for the blood covered body behind Caroline. She stepped out of the way and let him pass. Tyler fell to his knees beside Jeremy's body, lying face down on the blood covered ground, and turned him around, picking him up at the same time. Blood flowed again from Jeremy's wound – Tyler had ripped his throat out. Tyler held him close to his chest, pulling the young boy's lifeless body into his lap, and wrapping his arms around him. Just then the clouds moved and the full moon's light shone on Tyler and Jeremy. Tyler looked up and screamed at it wordlessly, Caroline's last words echoing in his head:_

"_Tyler... Jeremy's dead!"_

Tyler was on his knees fighting for each breath, beating his fists against the floor, leaving bloody dents in the wood. He had long since broken most of the bones in his hands. He didn't care. Right now he would do anything... ANYTHING... to make him forget. He had even tried to commit suicide – slit his wrists. But he had healed too quickly. And drinking pills worked about as well as alcohol – which meant the buzz only lasted a while before his body chemistry compensated.

And then she was there again, holding his wrists in her hands so that he couldn't move them. Caroline had been his shadow the last four days – always there when he didn't want her to be. _Why wouldn't one of them just kill him already? _He asked himself for the millionth time since that night. It had been four days since Jeremy's death. Tyler looked up at Caroline and could see the tears trailing down her face.

"Kill me! PLEASE!" Tyler begged her. She shook her head. This had constituted their conversations for the last four days. When she was sure he would stay put, she let go of his wrists and got a bag to clean up the bottles. He looked up and saw his mother standing in the doorway, her hand covering her mouth as she looked at her son, drunk beyond description, staring blankly back at her.

"PLEASE, mom!" Tyler whispered brokenly. "Just kill me!" He fleetingly thought of telling her what had really happened to Jeremy Gilbert; of telling her what her son really was and what he turned into every full moon. That might convince her to reach for the shotgun and put him out of his misery. He deserved nothing less. _Where was his father when he needed him?_ Richard Lockwood would have put a bullet in his son's head the second it had become public knowledge that he was sleeping with another guy.

But he never got the chance because his mother turned and ran down the stairs. So he just stared around the room until finally his gaze fell on his computer – the screensaver was on: pictures that he had taken of Jeremy and pictures that friends had taken of the two of them.

And then Caroline picked him up – literally, like he was a child – and lay him down in his bed. He didn't struggle anymore – this had become their routine over the last few days. She took off his shoes and socks and covered him with a blanket. She reached out and stroked his cheek. "Try and get some sleep, Ty." She whispered. "You're going to need all your strength tomorrow."

Tomorrow... Jeremy's funeral... Were they really expecting him to be there? Did they really think he was going to go? He closed his eyes and just let what was left of his quickly depleting drunkenness envelope him and hoped he fell asleep before his body worked through the rest of the booze in his system.

Tyler had only been asleep for a few hours when he woke up screaming. Another nightmare. The same nightmare: Killing Jeremy, tasting his blood and hearing him scream as he died. And then nothing, just the smell of blood and Jeremy's scent. As Tyler sat in the darkness, eyes closed, chest heaving from sobs that would never see the light of day, his sense of smell took over. He lifted his head and sniffed the room around him. Was he still dreaming? Jeremy's scent was everywhere and strong – as if he was right...

An imperceptibly small noise cut Tyler's thoughts off abruptly. His eyes snapped open and he turned towards his bedroom door, where a figure stood in the doorway, the light from the passage throwing him in shadow. Tyler could see him clearly though, despite the darkness: Dark brown hair, wet from the rain still falling outside, hanging to his jaw line, framing a contorted face, blue veins standing out under eyes that had turned from their usual chocolate brown to blood red. His mouth was open slightly, revealing the points of fangs. He was dressed in black jeans, a black T-shirt and black leather jacket. Tyler could only stare as the figure stepped into the room.

"Hey, babe." Jeremy whispered, tilting his head to one side. "Miss me?"

_**A/N: So what do you think – should I carry on with this story? Reviews are ALWAYS welcome!**_


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